New Chess Rulz

So on the occasion of my birthday – 36 years young. I thought I would share my new rulz for Chess. It has some Trump / Johnson jokes.. the joker kings.

21st Century Rules and it isn’t even 3D.

It is played on a 6×6 = 36 board. No black and white just a tan color with faint lines to denote your position. There are no castles anymore.

They move the same unless stated otherwise.

Pawns = Porn Stars : They can move in any direction now (they have the power of kings of old)… no 3 moves at start.

The King = The Joker : The same but can only move when adjacent to a Porn Star.

The Queen = The King : Lets face it the world moves in mysterious ways

Bishop = Anything Bi : You choose what binary thing they are, I am not getting into that.

Castle : Nope, no castles anymore I am afraid you are on your own.

Knights = South Paw Creatives : Knights I seem to remember were predominantly left handed, I may have just made it up but it would make sense when jousting for your steady and strongest hand to be the one that holds the joust.

The aim of the game is the same. Porn Stars become Queens if they can get to the other side of the board!

It writes itself. Where Chess comes from and the name for Check Mate and the jokes I will leave those Quite Interesting facts to Stephen Fry (He repeats himself as we all do so just search him up for the chess quotes).

 

 

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